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Nothing to say?

March 26, 2012

Mmmm. Just looked at my blog for the first time in months, and it seems my last post was way back in August 2011. It was a reflection on the cause and effect of the Tottenham riots last summer, something which I had little connection with, apart from some family connections in the area. My life now is so far removed from what happened I felt ill qualified to comment, but was so moved by events, the act of writing was a cathartic one.

So, why haven’t I had anything to say since then? My life has been bound up with back pain, exercise and an MA in English Literature which began in October. I started a gym regime which saw my back pain improve, weight began to drop off and just as soon as I’d got into it, something went ‘ping’ and I found myself in immense pain once more. Rounds of physio, painkillers, ice, Tens machines, nothing seems to really be having a long-term effect. All my hopes are pinned on a procedure due to take place in April – cortisone injections in the nerve root near to the site of the prolapsed disc. I am terrified that it won’t work, as the alternatives are too horrible to imagine. This time last year I was training for the Race for Life 5k. This year I am struggling to walk around the block.

The MA course, after a shaky start and fears of being out of my depth have proved to be unfounded, and it’s going well. I have to try to discipline myself though – and with no proper routine since I gave up work in July 2010 it’s been difficult. I am sitting here at gone 11am, still in my PJ’s, while I should really be tackling an essay on tragedy and Shakespeare.

So, what is the answer? Work was my discipline, and now it has gone and I have to organise my own day, I find I am procrastinating like the laziest teenager in the world. Blogging has been the last thing on my mind – whilst those that know me from Facebook and twitter will realise that I am never short of something to say! Perhaps I’ll just have to continue to muddle through, in my usual hap hazard manner, negotiating life as it arrives, and hoping things will turn out ok.  My new mantra comes from a quote from the file ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’ ;

‘Everything will be alright in the end. And if it doesn’t, it means it isn’t the end yet’

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 27, 2012 8:02 am

    I’d noticed this blog was seeming much neglected. Glad to have you back here. Now just find something to say. ;o)

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